Porn Addiction And Your Sexual Performance

porn and your sexual performance

The danger of a porn addiction

 
I get it, the sex anxiety thing, when it is obvious the thing expected from you is penetration sex. It is a serious thing that no man wants to fail. Yet, there is another side to the coin, the matter of arousal in the first place. Porn has an influence on your sexual performance. Porn addiction is a complete game changer. Porn can rob you of your arousal response to the 'normal'. You know, that girl (or guy) you call your partner, the one you have seen naked many times before. Which is part of the issue, you have seen them naked many times before. The anticipation, the excitement of discovery is absent. Compounded by which, you are training your self to be excited, aroused and satisfied by porn. An artificial, remote, dissociated stimuli.

Is It Only About You?

porn addictionWe must also consider your partner. She will be disappointed and will blame herself. She will consider herself  not good enough, as a person who cannot arouse you. Unattractive and ugly. No amount of persuading her otherwise will change her mind.
 
The thing is, in some ways she is right. She is the person who expects to be the sole centre of your desires. The person who expects to be able to arouse you in the bedroom, though, because of porn, she (he) does not do it for you anymore. The person in the bedroom is not your fantasy, the fantasy you are familiar with on the screen.
 
If you cannot get and keep an erection in the bedroom, but can sit, erect in front of a screen, something needs to change. Your brain is not as sophisticated as you imagine. Your subconscious understanding of sexual stimulation has a small narrow width. You are training your arousal to a different set of stimuli compared to your partner .
 
The nature of the sex has changed too.  From a rapid succession of visual stimuli on the screen, to a slower and more tactile experience in the bedroom. Porn has about short clips of action, sex with a partner is slower, and with a single point of stimulation.

Can porn ever help your sexual performance?

What you see on the screen is remote, removed and fast paced. Real life talks back, she has her own expectations of you, her own opinions, she is no longer an object. She is normal, natural, and far removed from the synthetic, manufactured fake of the screen

This is the difficulty with porn, it trains you for arousal to the wrong things.  Watching porn is easy, real life takes more effort. Porn addiction  easily happens. Your brain becomes familiar with the rapid visual stimuli of porn . You come to regard that as the only, or the most, sexually stimulating thing. The bedroom seems too much like hard work and it gives up.

My grandmother had it about right; she always used to say, "take everything in moderation.” Not that she was a woman known for her consumption of porn material. She was talking about food, but the principle is sound.

Porn has a place in the world

The same as long conversation, honest communication, and acceptance have a place. Love the reality, warts and all, of a real, normal human partner first. Then together explore the synthetic stimulation, the fantasy, and do it in moderation.
 
The internet was not only developed to bring a stream of porn into your life. When you have difficulty switching off the porn, start a conversation with me.